Coachella: Why People Like Me Shouldn't Go

Intro

I did a post yesterday on getting there
and our experience camping there.
Now, to the fun stuff.

The music festival: Coachella.

Why is it not for me?

Because I'm an introvert
who's kind of short (I'm 5 feet 2)
and doesn't like to elbow people out of her way.
It's fun, it is.
The festival--not elbowing people.
Although, that can be fun, too.
But I like my space.
And I knew this would be a problem before I ever bought the tickets.
I'm also not good at recognizing celebrities.
Or keeping up with them, for that matter.
But, why not experience it?
So I did.
And I went tent-camping.
View the previous post for that.

The Crowds

This was intense.

Despite getting there Friday afternoon,
we still made it to the shows!
Freaking awesome.
The app made it easy to keep up with all the artists we wanted to see.
It alerted me when a show was coming up.
Where it'd be.
And there was an interactive map for when we got lost.
Which, we did the whole weekend.
Even after we had an idea
of the general layout.

Friday's crowds were the best,
in my opinion.
Childish Gambino took advantage
of the whole stage.
So despite not being in the pit,
(I'm not sure how to explain our location,
but he popped up right beside us,
which we weren't expecting),
we got to experience and see everything.
It was awesome.
Even when tall people got in front us,
as they did the whole weekend,
(she's 5 feet 8, by the way),
we were able to move and see the stage.
Friday was the best.

And then, there was Saturday.
Oh, for the love.
Saturday.
Ugh.
The crowds were huge.
The pushing and shoving.
And even when we got there early,
people still pushed their way to the front,
consequently pushing us back.
And despite there being two screens
so people in the back could see what was going on,
we were still blinded.
Well, at least, I was. I think Sara was, too.
She had the misfortune of getting abused.
But I didn't find out until after the shows.
I regretted leaving the Weezer concert
for Billie Eilish.
I like Billie Eilish music.
I do not like the crowds she brings.
Too much.
Way, too much.
The Weezer concert,
we had an awesome spot,
and the music was great,
and the crowds were bearable.
The tall guy that stepped in front of Sara
at least tried to slouch down,
knowing he was too tall for people behind him to see,
but following his lady, nonetheless.
Yuck.
Saturday crowds.

Don't worry. If you didn't capture it, someone else did.


And then, there was Sunday.
The crowds were like they were on Saturday,
but he had learned!!!!
WE KNEW BETTER!!!!!
We stayed out of the crowds,
and just chilled in the background,
often on her blankie.
I bought a pad for $20 but didn't keep it on me
because I got booping people with it
on accident.
Oops.
Sunday was much more bareable.

The artwork was cool, though.

My point is,
if you're like me,
don't rush to the stages.
It's fine.
Chill at the back,
watch from the screens.
The only performer who didn't use the screens as much
that we saw
was Ariana Grande.
Sometimes, it was used.
Other times, it blacked out,
and sometimes, it showed things
that really didn't help us see what was going on.
All the other performers
had most their shows on the two large screens
on either side of the stage
so people in the back could watch.
It was heavenly.
People like me,
if it gets crowded,
stay in the back!
For real.

The Weather

Under my parasol at the campsite, relaxing during the day.

It got cold at night.
Even when the weather said it was 70 degrees,
for whatever reason,
it felt pretty cold.
For the evening shows,
it really helped to have a blanket or jacket.
And even better if you wore pants.
Which brings me to my next point.

Notice the jackets... We were under wind advisory at that time.

Coachella Fashion

This one kind of pains me.
Why? Because I love fashion.
I do.
But I'm not going to sacrifice my comfort
and have to have an added carry-on
for fashion.

Do you see all the neat fashion on Instagram?
Yes, it's all over Coachella.
That stuff's legit.
Women wore bikinis or swimwear
with wraps over them
or frills.
It was fascinating.
And they did it for the photos.
Which was even more fascinating.
Coachella is half music,
half selfies.
Not even exaggerating.
I'm also not criticizing.
I loved it.
I just wasn't so much a part of it.

If you're like me,
here are my fashion tips:
I wore hiking pants
*gasp*
Yes, hiking pants.
The breathable kind.
And they were perfect.
I regretted when I had to switch to skorts
and shorts. My shorts flair and look like a skirt.
I wore tank tops and an over-shirt
and a jacket around my waist for the evening chill.
And, of course, my fanny from Costa Rica.
More details are in my list of items.

The Bathrooms

There were porcelain toilets.
I never used them.
Just the porta-potties.
Which were fine.
I never ran out of toilet paper,
but kept tissues on me for in case.
Soap was not always guaranteed.
Which, I often carry, especially when traveling.
I recommend checking out the maps
and seeing which bathrooms
are furthest from the most popular stages.
Or just scour it while you're walking around.
I only had to wait once,
Sunday evening.
The porta-potties at the festival had scented things.
The ones at the campsites didn't.
But the furthest one at the tent campsite was also,
most likely,
used the least.

Water

Everyone everywhere told us we needed water bottles,
big ones.
We'd NEED to stay hydrated.
Coachella did well on taking care of people in this.
It's not guaranteed,
but we received free water on a few occasions.
They have a recycling system, too,
so you'll get rewarded if you trade in enough
bottles and cans,
for all you drinkers, out there.
As I mentioned in the last post,
I broke my (small) water bottle.
But, I used a free bottle of water I got
and just kept refilling.
Which wasn't as bad as many people led me to believe.
Again, find the watering area
that is by the least-popular stages.
The one we found also had the most faucets,
which,
in retrospect,
made no sense.
Yeah, STAY HYDRATED.
And when all else fails,
reuse a water bottle.
If you need to buy them at the festival,
they're just $2.
As they kept preaching everywhere.

Easter... Sunday Service


The main thing I remember from Kanye West's Sunday Service was the repetition.
The songs just kept
repeating
and repeating
and repeating.
There was some good music.

I'm not a Kanye fan (or hater).
I don't have much of an opinion on him.
Sara wanted to go
just to check it out.
Which I was happy to do.

I think it was pleasant.
And very loud.
We left early
and heard it all at the campsite
as though we were still there.

The guest appearances were a nice touch.



Activities Outside Coachella

In one of the car-camping lots,
there is a section full
of food and activities.
I dated this guy in college,
total stoner/hippie.
He would've loved the vibe.
There was pilates
(and maybe yoga),
games,
charging stations
(which Sara used
and she said took forever),
and activities.
These activities included
making light pins,
jewelry,
drawing live models,
stuff with fabric,
making magnets
or other small trinkets,
and I think I saw some henna.
There were all kinds of things
going on.


Sex at Coachella

Does it happen?
Yes.
I almost, accidentally, snapped a photo of it.
Sara and I got to hear the love-making
right next to us
as we packed up our things Monday morning.
I don't know about the validity of the herpes outbreak.
But the memes are pretty funny.
We did see random boxers on the ground
and condoms.
So, some people thought ahead
and used protection.
I did not partake in these activities.
For 1, I felt bad.
2, I didn't want to nor found anyone interested.
3, and most importantly...
I couldn't.
I mean, I felt gross,
even though I showered daily.
It's sweaty,
it's sandy,
it's not for me.
If you have a hotel/AirBnb
it's probably a lot more sanitary to do so.
People camping, even tent camping,
may still get lucky
(or... unlucky?)
I don't have advice for people who have sex
at Coachella.
For people who generally have sex,
use common sense.
Body wipes, condoms,
probably a body bag wouldn't hurt--
oh, I meant towel.
Have sex at your own risk
(I mean, it's called getting screwed for a reason)
and most importantly,
use common sense.

The Unfortunate Wristband Incident

Having never been to a music festival like this before,
I managed to slip up in tightening my wristband
and made it too tight.
For the WHOLE TIME,
I wore the outside around my wrist,
and the small side around my thumb.
This wasn't a problem.
THE WHOLE TIME!!!
Until Sunday evening.

We went to scan ourselves into the festival
for the FINAL TIME
and the old man wouldn't let me through.
Other workers noticed.
It wasn't like I was hiding it.
A couple even commented.
And they didn't care.
But the old man did.
I have reason to suspect Sunday was worse
in security all around, anyway.
Of course, this wrtistband issue
is NOT about security.
It is soley about Coachella Music Festival
trying to squeeze every dollar out of you
they can.

Sara ended up paying the $40 replacement fee
to get a new one.
Which was done within minutes.
$40.
That's crazy.
And they kept my old one.
I refused to pay it
because it was the last night
and I had already paid for two wristbands
in the first place.
Plus the bus tickets.
Plus the airline tickets.
I was done.
So Sara stepped up and offered to help me.

The argument given to me was that I would lose it.
Not that I MIGHT lose it,
but that I WOULD lose it.
There are two major flaws in this argument.
One, it was the final scan-in.
Wearing it the way I did
was more secure
than wearing it how they wanted me to.
It took some effort
in untangling myself from it.
Two, both Sara and I
could slip out of the wristbands
when wearing it the 'correct' way.

And maybe the guy would've argued
that I made it loose intentionally.
However,
I asked the worker to put it on for me,
the one who took my old wristband
and gave me a new one.
She put it on me.
Not me.

Also,
you know it's for the money
and not security,
because all you need is your name
and an email
to activate it.
If you have a rare case like me,
you may need to show ID
and cite your email address.
But who's to say you're the only one
with your name?

So to Bob,
the guy with the loose arguments,
who's probably a chill guy to hang out with,
and whose name I don't actually know
because it wasn't worth my time to find out,
and to the people
who have been dishonest in the past,
encouraging Coachella people
to create these ridiculous rules and pricetag,
and to the people in Coachella,
who priced it so high,
and made the rules,
fuck you.


Outro

For people not like me,
you'll probably love it.
We met people who've been going for years.
First weekend is apparently for
social media hype.
But second weekend sure doesn't lack
in selfies and such.
Coachella is half music, half selfies.
I need to turn that into a t-shirt.
Or, at least, a meme...
If you love music,
and you love selfies,
you'll probably love Coachella.
Especially if you don't mind
pushy crowds.

For people like me,
you don't want to go.
It's too much hassle
and too little enjoyment.
Though it is fun.
Food's great, too.
Probably the best part.
And if you are like me,
you'll go or try something like it,
at least once.
Probably twice.
Because if you are like me,
you're overly optimistic
and you'll think you've either learned,
the last time was a glitch,
or you'll totally forget about it
in the span of a moment,
and agree to do it again or something similar
just to utterly regret it later.
And then laugh at yourself.
Because you already knew it'd happen again.
Because it always does...
it always does.

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